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<ol><li>Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth right now, in these days, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   This podcast is about transformation -- a radical transformation of self, overcoming anything that gets in the way of us loving God our Father and Mary our Mother with the trust and dependence of a little child.  This podcast is all about real love in real relationships and it's messy.   I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.  This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor -- This is episode 47, released on December 21, 2020  <ol><li>and it is titled: Shame and Redemption: St. Peter and You</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>it is the 11th episode in our series on shame.  </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Thank you for being here with me. </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>This episode stands alone</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Episodes 37, 38 and 39 lay out the conceptual foundations on shame</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Last episode we discussed how shame can lead to tragedy in the story of Judas Iscariot.  </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Continuing to illustrate shame and related concepts with stories  <ol><li>Now we are going to look at an story of intense shame and redemption.  <ol><li>The story of the Apostle Peter</li><li>Really going to look inside of Peter's mind, heart, body and soul today</li><li>Really focus on understanding what happened in his life  <ol><li>Making sense of his decisions, his choices</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>I share his name.  I connect with him, he makes so much sense to me.  Very similar parts. </li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>In our fallen world, in our fallen human condition, all of us have elements of what Peter struggled with.  <ol><li>We can learn from Peter's redemption </li></ol></li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> </li><li>Profiling St. Peter  <ol><li>Teaching you to recognize parts in other, parts in yourself  </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>I am an IFS therapist -- really interested in parts of people</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Understanding parts really helps us grow in the understanding of ourselves and others  <ol><li>Socrates:  Know thyself</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Jesus:  Removing the beam in your own eye</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Recognizing, identifying your parts and the parts of others is really helpful for loving the other person.  Why?</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Loving a person means accepting loving all their parts.  All of them. <ol><li>It is really helpful to know a part in order understand what it needs.   </li><li>Doesn't mean affirming every action</li><li>Doesn't mean agreeing with every opinion</li><li>Doesn't mean endorsing every desire</li><li>Doesn't mean encouraging every impulse</li></ol></li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>See what you resonate with</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>What are parts?  <ol><li>Discrete, autonomous mental systems, each with own idiosyncratic range of emotion, style of expression, abilities, desires views of the world. <ol><li>Modes of operating</li><li>Subpersonalities</li><li>Orchestra model</li><li>Focus is on integration.  </li></ol></li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Get forced into extreme roles -- attachment injuries and relational traumas</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Three roles  <ol><li>Exiles -- <ol><li>most sensitive -- become injured or outraged.  Threatens the system, external relationships</li><li>Exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships</li><li>Want care and love, rescue, redemption</li><li>shame.  Need for redemption </li></ol></li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Managers  <ol><li>Protective, strategic, controlling environment, keep things safe</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Obsessions. Compulsions, reclusiveness, passivity, numbing. Panic attacks, somatic complaints, depressive episodes, hypervigiliance.</li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Firefighters  <ol><li>Stifle, anesthetize, distract from feelings of exiles</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>No concern for consequences</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Binge eating, drug/alcohol use, dissociation, sexual risk taking, cutting</li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Parts can take over the person  <ol><li>Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>We call it blending.  </li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>IFS on the Self -- (recorded)  <ol><li>Self defined as the seat of consciousness</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Self can be occluded or overwhelmed by parts</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>When self accepts and loves parts, those parts transform back into who they were meant to be</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Self-led mind is self-righting.</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>self -- Active inner leader -- more than mindfulness</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Parts find the relationship with the self very reassuring  <ol><li>But to reap the benefits they have to unblend from and notice the self</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>This is frightening can challenging to parts</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Agency in the parts -- parts are making decisions about unblending in IFS model</li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Intrinsic qualities of the self  <ol><li>Curiosity</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Compassion</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Calm</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Confidence</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Courage</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Clarity</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Creativity</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Connectedness</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Kindness</li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>The self can be easily occluded, obscured, hidden by protective parts who take over in response to fear, anger or shame</li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>St. Peters Parts -- or modes of operating  <ol><li>Boldness, self confidence  Overconfidence  <ol><li>Manager Part.  </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Fisherman who owned his own boat  <ol><li>A part that wants to be big.  </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Have to make quick decisions</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Dangerous occupation</li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Respected in Galilee, a leader</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Courage, Fortitude</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Leads to forgetting the teaching of Jesus</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Established, married.  </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Defends against a shame exile.  </li></ol></li><li> </li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Spontaneity/Impulsivity <ol><li>Manager leaping in</li><li>Quick reactions -- this part leaps into action instantaneously  <ol><li>Man of action</li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Courage here too</li></ol></li><li> </li><li>Trusted his instincts.  </li><li>Capable of intense emotion</li><li>Driven by that emotion  <ol><li>Seizing opportunities as they arise <ol><li>See opportunity, seize opportunity</li><li>No dithering</li></ol></li></ol></li><li> <ol><li>Can lead to ra...</li></ol></li></ol></li></ol></li></ol></li></ol>

47 Shame and Redemption: St. Peter and You

Most of us are familiar with the 5 Love Languages; gift-giving acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time. But which of these is how God gives and receives love? 

Today Fr. Mike shares with us how God often loves us not in the way we might expect or prefer but in the way that most draws us into union with him. <a rel="payment" href="https://ascensionpress.com/products/support-ascension">Support The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast</a>

Does God Have a Love Language?

Join Dan and Stephanie Burke as they answer your questions about the spiritual life. Topics/Questions Covered in the Show: <ul> <li>How many people suffer from negative thoughts?</li> <li>How to find peace through negative thoughts.</li> </ul> Resources: <ul> <li><a href="https://www.spiritualdirection.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Spiritualdirection.com</a> – website</li> <li><a href="http://www.ewtn.com/radio/index.asp" target="_blank" rel="noopener">EWTN Global Catholic Radio</a></li> <li><a href="http://avila-institute.org/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Avila Institute for Spiritual Formation</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ewtnreligiouscatalogue.com/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener">EWTN Religious Catalogue</a> – online</li> <li><a href="https://www.apostoliviae.org/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Apostoli Viae</a> - website</li> <li><a href="https://www.sophiainstitute.com/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Sophia Institute</a> – website</li> <li>Searching for and Maintaining Peace - Fr. Jacques Philippe</li> <li>Discernment of Spirits - Fr. <a class="a-link-normal" href="https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1?ie=UTF8&text=Timothy+M.+Gallagher+OMV&search-alias=digital-text&field-author=Timothy+M.+Gallagher+OMV&sort=relevancerank" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Timothy M. Gallagher OMV</a></li> <li>Questions? Send an e-mail to <a href= "mailto:Questions@myavila.com" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Questions@myavila.com</a> or call 818-646-7729. Please leave your name, location, and question(s).</li> </ul> What is the Divine Intimacy Radio Show? The Divine Intimacy Radio Show is a haven of rest and wellspring of spiritual life for those people seeking an increased intimacy with God and the enlightened path of Catholic mystical and ascetical wisdom. Twice a week, host Dan Burke and his co-host, Stephanie Burke, explore topics related to the interior life and to authentic Catholic teaching. And, it's amazing what they do! On Tuesdays, they interview various authors about their spiritual books and about the authors’ own insights on those books. On Fridays, they get specific on subjects which primarily include prayer, spiritual direction, meditation, contemplation, and holiness.

Q&A "Dealing With Negative Thoughts"

Opening Credits

Introduction

Have confidence in God's mercy

Embrace God's will with equanimity

Practice humility to increase your generosity

Obey those placed in authority over you

Be patient as you seek perfection

Be modest in your bearing

Practice interior modesty

Learn modesty in speech

Accept reproofs without bitterness

Turn your attention to God

Simply love God

Continue to make good resolutions

Love God simply

Be untroubled by public opinion

Abandon yourself wholly to God

Do not seek special crosses or privileges

Desire nothing, refuse nothing

Biographical Note

End Credits

St. Francis de Sales offers a practical path to holiness through everyday life—work, rest, and play. He guides readers to cultivate virtues like patience, humility, and trust, emphasizing that loving God is accessible to all. This book encourages focusing on divine love amidst daily distractions, providing a gentle roadmap to spiritual growth.​

The Art of Loving God

Prof. Adam Eitel argues that God’s divine pedagogy makes the examples of the saints indispensable for our salvation, since their concrete, imperfect yet graced lives teach us how to endure sorrow, grow in virtue, and imitate Christ in the real circumstances of our own time. This lecture was given on October 6th, 2025, at Brown University. For more information on upcoming events, visit us at <a href="https://thomisticinstitute.org/upcoming-events" target="_blank">thomisticinstitute.org/upcoming-events</a>. About the Speakers: Professor Eitel is an Associate Professor of Theology at the University of Dallas. Before joining the UD faculty in 2023, he taught for eight years at Yale University, holding appointments in the Divinity School, the Program in Medieval Studies, and the Humanities Program. A specialist in medieval scholasticism, his research interests include doctrinal and moral theology, with a particular focus on the works of Thomas Aquinas and his contemporaries. His teaching and research bring historical Christian theology into dialogue with contemporary moral and political issues. Keywords: Augustine On Virtue, Cardinal Virtues In Scripture, Communion Of Saints, Divine Pedagogy, Exemplarity And Moral Formation, Imitation Of Christ, Job’s Patience, Moral Theology, Summa Theologiae, Thomistic Biblical Commentary

Why We Need the Saints – Prof. Adam Eitel

<a rel="payment" href="https://ascensionpress.com/products/support-ascension">Support The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast</a>

Freedom and Its Consequences

Grow in trust and total abandonment to divine providence by following Mary’s example of loving obedience and unwavering faith. Reflect on how her yes at the Annunciation, her witness at Calvary, and her intercession in the Upper Room reveal the depth of her surrender to God’s plan. Learn to imitate her fiat, rejoice in her Magnificat, and ponder God’s mysteries with a heart open to grace. Let her lead you to love Jesus with her heart and trust Him completely, no matter the trial.

Icon of Trust | eBook

Welcome to The Saint of the Day Podcast, a service of <a href='https://www.goodcatholic.com/'>Good Catholic</a> and <a href='http://thecatholiccompany.com/'>The Catholic Company</a>.Today&apos;s featured saint is St. John Henry Newman.If you like what you heard, share this podcast with someone you know, and make sure to subscribe!🔔Subscribe to Our Channel: <a href='https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&amp;redir_token=QUFFLUhqbVNrdEJMWl9MMHluX2FYOVExYktxa0xGdGp1d3xBQ3Jtc0tsSmFkN2pqNWFkQkI3NVFFeGZYTno0cmp6b1hJVVI3cW5IbmZ4aWN1Y0FLRUJsWUItZGRJSTRPUW13YWtnQVJLbzBUS041TzlveF9Ec3lwSDd4RWgwaFg3VTJQc2Eyc3lXTkF1WWoyM0MyenV2MTdzbw&amp;q=https%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2F3sX4exh&amp;v=uXS4iQbY-gY'>https://bit.ly/3sX4exh</a>✅ Visit Good Catholic for more great content: <a href='https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&amp;redir_token=QUFFLUhqa0RyRnFzSEt0VWptYWlSNTJDR0ZPRDNqZnJiQXxBQ3Jtc0trSG1IR2dtaEduSHB2RGVtQVQ4VFJvNnpPY3NVZ19fcURMa21SdzRHSWlnMWljb3pBNmdSNkV0UDNGblJ3ZmY3WFBoNHh5Z2drSkg1V2puaHhJTkVKcjc5WEN6cHhOTllHOTdCdmlMV2dfcWxwdkxJZw&amp;q=https%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2F3rMqLKI&amp;v=uXS4iQbY-gY'>https://bit.ly/3rMqLKI</a>

10/9 - St. John Henry Newman

Dcn. Jacob, soon-to-be Fr. Jacob, and Fr. Sean discuss the soon-to-be St. Pierre Giorgio Frassati.

Pier Giorgio Trojan Horse

In this episode, we reflect on the importance of giving thanks to the Lord for all He has done in both the beautiful and difficult moments of life. We talk about how practicing gratitude can change our perspective of reality and helps us recognize where God has been present even in moments we do not understand. We also name the fears that can sometimes keep us from giving thanks and discuss how gratitude becomes an act of surrender that opens us to God's steady, faithful presence. As a gift to you, we end today's episode by doing Lectio Divina with Psalm 34 and invite you into a time of prayer with us. Heather's One Thing - <a href= "https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQ5d7KBjw8Z/?igsh=c2lwczdlY2t2dnhx"> Jalapeno, Pepper Jack, and Bacon Corn Pudding</a> Recipe Heather's Other One Thing - <a href= "https://open.spotify.com/track/6CTB0KwXXWGcJDnEB8maku?si=1fa7feabfe634d29"> Hell or High Water</a> and <a href= "https://open.spotify.com/track/03YcD5neduQG0yHoNlNSx5?si=9d1b941863dc4e48"> Edens</a> by Amanda Cook Sister Miriam's One Thing - Her <a href="https://solt.net/sisters">SOLT</a> Community Michelle's One Thing - College Football Other Resources Mentioned: <ul> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">Life Transitions <a href= "https://www.abidingtogetherpodcast.com/podcastarchive/s16e15-life-transitions-with-chris-benzinger-part-1">Part One</a> and <a href= "https://www.abidingtogetherpodcast.com/podcastarchive/s16e16-life-transitions-with-chris-benzinger-part-2"> Part Two</a> with Chris Benzinger</li> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation"><a href= "https://www.amazon.com/One-Thousand-Gifts-Fully-Right/dp/0310321913/ref=pd_lpo_d_sccl_2/131-6984936-9157731?pd_rd_w=sKqou&content-id=amzn1.sym.4c8c52db-06f8-4e42-8e56-912796f2ea6c&pf_rd_p=4c8c52db-06f8-4e42-8e56-912796f2ea6c&pf_rd_r=5RBBBMSBYBAH9HKFXNH6&pd_rd_wg=UZr2u&pd_rd_r=ecdb33b5-8963-4f79-a79f-5422dbb91f24&pd_rd_i=0310321913&psc=1"> One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are</a> by Ann Voskamp</li> </ul> Journal Questions: <ul> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">What graces have I received this year?</li> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">How did the Lord accompany me this year?</li> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">What do I need to let go of as we transition into a new liturgical year?</li> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">What parts of my life am I afraid to give thanks for?</li> </ul> Discussion Questions: <ul> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">What has the Lord taught you in this season?</li> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">What was surprising this past year?</li> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">What challenges and joys did you experience this year?</li> <li dir="ltr" role="presentation">Where are you resistant to give thanks?</li> </ul> Quote to Ponder: "Gratitude is at the center of a life of faith. It sounds too simple to be true, but isn't that the sign of all deep truth: so simple we're tempted to dismiss it, and so hard, it is exactly what God uses to change our hard lives." (Ann Voskamp) Scripture for Lectio: "I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed. This poor soul cried, and was heard by the Lord, and was saved from every trouble. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. O taste and see that the Lord is good; happy are those who take refuge in him." (Psalm 34:1-8) Sponsor - The GIVEN Institute: The GIVEN Institute is a vibrant non-profit organization dedicated to activating the gifts of women for the Church and the world. GIVEN wants to help you receive the gift that you are, realize the gifts you've been given, and respond with the gift only you can give. Applications are now open for GIVEN's 2026 Leadership Program. Faithful Catholic women between the ages of 21 and 35 are encouraged to apply today! GIVEN's program includes participation at the Leadership Forum from June 24-28, 2026 in Washington, DC and a year of dedicated, 1-on-1 mentorship with an established Catholic female leader. Abiding Together Co-Host Heather Khym will be a speaker at the 2026 Leadership Forum next June along with other phenomenal Catholic women leaders of all ages, all vocations, and all walks of life. If you are a woman between the ages 21 and 35 and seeking leadership training, faith formation, and support to better understand and pursue your particular mission, GIVEN's Leadership Program is designed just for you! You'll grow in relationship with Christ, gain a deeper understanding of your personal vocation, and be empowered to develop an Action Plan to activate your personal gifts to impact the world. For women over 35 with a desire to get involved, please consider becoming a Mentor or Volunteer! For more information and to apply, please visit <a href= "https://www.giveninstitute.com/forum">www.giveninstitute.com/forum</a>. Chapters: 00:00 The Given Institute 01:26 Intro 02:16 Welcome 03:45 Practicing Being Thankful First 06:01 Giving Thanks in All Things 08:25 Gratitude is the Center of A Life of Faith 11:22 Being Afraid to Give Thanks 13:14 Lectio Divina 23:18 Our Reflections from Lectio 28:46 One Things Music used under license i94Cr0

S17 E11 - A Moment of Gratitude

Q: Did St. Maximus anticipate Internal Family Systems thinking by 13 centuries?  A: In a word, Yes.  Maximus, writing in the seventh century, described in detail the unity and distinctions within the human person, and how each of us is a mediator that connects the spiritual and natural realms, and microcosm that contains within us the entire cosmos.  Mind-blowing ideas.  He also believes that each of us is a macrocosm, being able to influence the whole world in ways that matter.  Maximus was a sophisticated systems thinker.  He believed we already have certain virtues within us that can and should be released to flower.  And love was at the very center of his message.  Join Dr. Gerry Crete, Dr. Christian Amalu, and Dr. Peter Malinoski as they explore Catholic parts work and St. Maximus to your imagination break free.

169 St. Maximus the Confessor and Catholic Parts Work

Should we really talk to God about everything?

There are a lot of different kinds of prayers (liturgical, litanies, the rosary, the chaplet of divine mercy, etc.), but today Father hones in on mental prayer. Mental prayer—including lectio divina and Ignatius prayer—is about having a conversation with God and inviting him into your mind and your heart. But our minds are messy places, and our hearts are wounded. Should we really be talking to God about all of our thoughts, longings, and desires?<a rel="payment" href="https://ascensionpress.com/products/support-ascension">Support The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast</a>

What Should We Talk to God About? Everything.

Beautifully Broken: A Women's Retreat August 29-31 Ladies, you can't know who you are until you know whose you are. You weren't created to be someone else. You were uniquely crafted in the image of God—wonderfully and fearfully made. As John Paul II said, "You are the sum of the Father's love." Join us for a weekend to rest, reflect, and rediscover the sacred beauty within your brokenness. Together, we'll explore: • Embracing your God-given identity with confidence • Releasing the burden of who you think you "should" be • Finding healing through the power of forgiveness & reconciliation You'll be invited into the peaceful presence of Eucharistic Adoration and the healing mercy of Confession. Come as you are. Leave renewed. Be who you were created to be—the world is waiting for you to shine. August 29-31 2025 Sign up by link above #BeautifullyBrokenRetreat #CatholicWomen #HealedByGrace #ComeAsYouAre #MadeForMore #christianladies #womansretreat #retreat #refresh

Join us on Retreat

Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem The huge mistake we make with our emotions in a crisisEpisode 7:  April 10, 2020Let’s get right to it.  Today we are discussing the one huge mistake that we human beings tend to make with our emotions when we are in a drawn-out crisis situation. One major mistake that we all are prone to make when we are stressed.  And we’re going to also not just discuss the remedy to that huge common mistake – but also we are going to practice that remedy.  I will walk you through an experiential exercise to help you rise above that common mistake and help you know yourself better.  So stay with me, here we go…Cue musicWelcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis:  Carpe Diem where together we embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth during this pandemic, all grounded in a Catholic worldview. I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski with Souls and Hearts.  Thank you for being here.  So what is the great mistake that many of us make with our intense emotions in a crisis?  In one word the answer is:  Neglect.  We neglect them.  We disregard them.  We don’t pay attention to them.  We avoid them.  We defend against them so that in an emergency they don’t keep us from being able to act.  And that is helpful in the short run.  Imagine firefight on a battlefield where a soldier’s legs are wounded by shrapnel and he can’t move.  His buddy moves quickly and efficiently to stop the bleeding and is carrying him back to the medic for care.  It would not help his buddy to get overwhelmed with emotion, fear, or a sense of loss, or to remember in that moment all the good times they had together on base.  Temporarily, his buddy can keep out of conscious awareness all those memories and all that emotion to be able to focus on the demands of the moment.  And that is a gift from God.  We naturally have defenses that keep some of our internal experience out of conscious awareness so we can function under stress.  We call them defenses because they defend us, they protect us against internal experiences that otherwise would overwhelm us, swamp us with their intensity.  Some clinicians call these defenses coping mechanisms.  So what are these defenses?  You’ve heard of many of them – denial, repression, avoidance, dissociation – I have a list of about 50 of them that I consider when I’m doing psychological evaluations. The function of all of these defenses is to protect us from being overwhelmed by our experience, particularly intense emotional experiences.  The problem is that over time, these defenses all have costs.  There is a price to pay for using a defense.  The costs is often part of the defense itself – for example, getting hung over after drinking too much.  But a cost common to all defenses is that are not as in touch with our emotions.  In general, people only deal with what they consciously experience and they assume that this is all that there is.  If I don’t feel it, it’s not there.   If a defense is working effectively, it keeps all or at least part of an emotion out of our awareness.  And when we don’t know what we are feeling we are at a disadvantage.  For example, we can’t share those experiences with other people or bring them to God in prayer.  We are not integrated, connected with emotion.  Let me make comparison to the body.  There are some people with rare genetic condition who cannot feel physical pain.   It’s called congenital analgesia And it’s thought to be related to a genetic mutation that interrupts the normal functioning of pain messages in the central nervous system.  They don’t feel it when they burn their mouth with hot coffee, they don’t feel pain when they injure themselves in any way.  Some people might wish to have this condition – to live a pain free life!  But they tend to have short lives.  They don’t have the warning system to protect themselves.  So an example.  Let’s say that you are angry with your spouse, but you have defended against that anger.  It’s likely to come out in your behavior, in ways that you intellect and will can’t address as effectively.  We call that enactment or acting out.  It’s a way of discharging some unconscious emotion through action.  Have you ever had the experience where you where pretty sure someone felt something toward you, but they weren’t aware of it?  Or how about the guy who insists in a frustrated, angry tone, that he is not angry.  “I’m not angry, why do you keep telling me I’m angry?!”  Often people believe what they are saying in those moments.  They are not in touch with their experience.  .  Floyd at the work.  He’s the last one – never complained. He’s enacting.  So now we are weeks into this crisis.  It’s dragging on.  We’ve had time to build up emotions about it.  The problem is not that we have some temporary disconnect from intense emotion.  But when we don’t seek to understand ourselves, when we stay unaware of what we are feeling – then problems come in.How can my emotions influence my actions when I am not feeling them?  Emotions signal important things going on within us.  They inform us about our experience.  And when they are kept out of awareness by defenses, there is a God-given pull for the trouble to come to the surface.  The more we repress and refuse to acknowledge an emotion, the more that emotion tries to get to the surface.  It’s like trying to keep a beach ball under the water.  Or think about it this way.  Have you ever been in the presence of compassionate person and then all of sudden had an insight about what you’re really struggling with – a realization.  The love of the other helps the defenses to relax so the problem can come to the surface without overwhelming you.  Remedy: Experiential exercise.  Not therapy.  Sounds really simple Importance of Gentleness with self.  A very important aspect of heartset:  Willingness to look inside and own what is there.  Seek and ye shall find.  Slow down.  You can find out.  Create the conditions.  Mindset of acceptance of all your internal experience.   Be willing to own your emotions.  If we are, we are going to see things we don’t want to see.  Impulses, desires, attitudes, but also emotions.  Shame, grief, anger,  First and second moral acts.   Saints:  Discuss wretchedness not their wonderfulness?Set asideTime to feel.  Space to feel.  Relationship to feel Note your reactions.Drawing or doodling. Writing down in a journal – putting thoughts and feelings into words allows us to engaging the will and the intellect. Let me know how this exercise goes for you.  Email me at     <a href="mailto:crisis@soulsandhearts.com">crisis@soulsandhearts.com</a> Let’s stay connected. If you sign up at soulsandhearts.com for this podcast you will get the Wednesday morning email with extra tips and insider information, including sneak peaks.  For example, I will send you a list of the names of 50 or so defenses that I consider in evalu...